Monday, November 29, 2010

Hair and Prayers

I'm not usually an impulsive person.

I've been desparately needing a haircut for a couple weeks now. I have worn my hair long in recent years, but it never fails that at *that* point that I start just wearing it in a ponytail or messy bun (or lately, braids) just about everyday. I've been in ponytails/ buns/ braids for about a month now. So it was time.

The last time I got a haircut, I just wanted a trim. Enough to get the dead ends off. An inch, maybe. Today.....I had the day off and was out around town and thought - you know what? Today's the day.

The day, indeed. I should've taken a picture of how much hair I lost today. I'd say about 5" maybe, at the longest point? The longest hairs on my head now barely touch my shoulders. It was a shock to see that much hair on the floor and I had a momentary case of panic, but the girl who was cutting my hair was SO nice....we highlighted it and then washed and conditioned it....she took some of my hair in her fingers and said, "What do you think, about here?" I said, "Just DO IT!" and closed my eyes, and there was no looking back. But I like it. Still sort of a shock to run my fingers through my hair and get about 4" into it and that's it....but I like it.

A more serious point......our friends Cory & Amber just had their baby Saturday....she was released today but baby Colin is still in NICU. He just hasn't gotten the hang of eating yet. Chris talked to Cory earlier and he'll be fine, but he was a full 2 weeks early and when they went to induce her, she wasn't even showing SIGNS of effacing or dilating yet. I guess he did better today and woke up every 3 hours or so to eat, which is good. He'll be okay, but my heart just goes out to Amber. She's one of those very diligent and by-the-books people, so I can just imagine that she is worrying and wondering what she could be doing different. Obviously I don't know what being a new mom feels like, but I can't imagine this is much fun for her or Cory. Hopefully Colin will be home tomorrow. I can't wait to actually hold him when we go back for Christmas!

Off to bed....back to work after being off 5 days. Sniff, sniff. End of month week + the dramas that ended last week = a fun 4 days coming up. Wish me luck.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Happy Turkey Day!

It has been a whirlwind last couple of days. We left for TH on Wednesday night and just got back home a little while ago. Everyday has been action-packed, with not a lot of sleep for either of us (not used to a king-sized bed)......so in the interest of a semi-organized post, I'm stealing this idea from other blogs I've read......and "condensed" the weekend into T.U.R.K.E.Y (I started with T.H.A.N.K.S.G.I.V.I.N.G.....but my mind is having problems functioning, and I'm just not that creative).....

T - is for thankful. For my parents, for my brother & sister, for my faith, for my husband and the millions of 2nd chances hes given me, for the Cowboys no matter how much talent they have but still lose, for a good job that pays for a roof over our head and food on our table, for friends.

U - is for unreal. Unreal how the Cowboys continue to shoot themselves in the foot. A great Thanksgiving Day tradition continued when the Cowboys took on the reigning Super Bowl champs, the New Orleans Saints. They were down 17-0 after the 1st quarter and it looked like a blowout. They persevered and didn't quit and actually went up 27-23 with 5 minutes to go. After a big defensive stop, Dallas had a 3rd and 10.....bomb to Roy Williams.....runs up the field for 40+ yards......and the ball gets stripped with 3:30 to go. Wham bam thank you ma'am, 1:05 and 5 plays later, N.O. marched down the field to take the lead, 30-27. We got the ball back with 1:55 to go and got into a long FG range (59 yards), and Buehler just missed it. Oh well.

R - is for Relationship....with my mother in law. It was never bad, per se', just.....daughter-and-mother-in-law-like. Civil, nice, polite....but yesterday, I think we really had a great day together that really upped our relationship. Last year, Chris' sister, Jenn; his mom, Sharon; and I went shopping on Black Friday and had a LOT of fun. This year, Jenn was in Iowa with her fiance's family, so it was just her and me. I think both of us were a little nervous about how the day would go, and were a little ill at ease at first, but we got some Starbucks, hit Old Navy first, and we were on a roll from there. We shopped from 7am to 3pm straight. I hand picked all of her gifts (because she hates picking out things) and she paid for them - we had lunch - and then we came back to her house and I wrapped everything for her. It's funny knowing beforehand what Chris is getting :)

K - is for the Kids table. I'm not sitting at it next year. And neither is Chris. I'm calling seniority in 2011. End of story.

E - is for excitement...over new babies! My AOII pledge sister/ former roommate/ bridesmaid Jenn and her husband welcomed their first baby into the world Wednesday 11/24. They didn't know the sex beforehand so it was exciting to get the text saying it was a boy! Welcome Lawson Shane! Jenn - so excited for you....and can't wait to see you in a couple weeks when we come through for Christmas :) Then, Chris' Sigma Chi brother/ former roommate/ groomsman Cory and his wife Amber welcomed THEIR first baby into the world today! They did know the sex beforehand, but it was still exciting to know he was here. He wasn't supposed to be here until December 6, but for some reason she was induced last night and he arrived around 2:30 pm today. Just a little guy - 6 lbs, 12 oz and 20" long. We stopped by the hospital on our way home to give them a few little things and to see the proud parents. We didn't get to see him because he had low blood sugar and they had him on a warmer, but we'll see him in a few weeks, too :)

Y - is for not Yet (lame, but Y is hard). I said this a lot this weekend. So did Chris. "When are you guys going to have a baby?" "You guys pregnant yet?" "When are you guys due?" Some joking, some not, some trying to BE joking but weren't......it was like our first year everyone gave us a free pass. Our 2nd anniversary hit on August 30 and everyone kind of took that date as the date to start asking. It's HARD to say "not yet" when we're surrounded by babies, when my baby fever spikes just by walking through a baby section at Target, when people keep asking. I'm not annoyed by it and I don't think Chris is, really, either, but at the same time.....it's sometimes hard to just slap a smile on your face and give people an answer they don't want. I KNOW our family and friends want what's best for us, and so do we.....but man oh man is it hard to know when that time IS! Especially seeing little Colin tonight......and earlier today we went to my mom's little babysitting charges' house. At 2 1/2, Landon is practically part of the family since my mom has had him since he was 3 months old.....and he just got a baby sister, Emeline, this July. I walked her to sleep this afternoon before we left, and I just fell in LOVE. She has these big brown eyes that are so SERIOUS, and just look & look at you....but she fell asleep as I was bouncing her and walking with her, and I just melted. She's a beautiful little baby and there is just something so.....amazing - how they just trust you so much. Yup, baby fever is spiked.


No matter how worried or stressed or anxious or annoyed I may get day to day............at the end of everyday, I get to lay my head down in my warm bed, next to a man I love and loves me back, with the knowledge that I always have my family behind me, friends I can go to, food in my belly & a roof over my head, my health and a God that no matter how "bad" of a Catholic I am...........is always listening. I can't ask for much more than that.

Monday, November 22, 2010

65 in November

It's currently 55 degrees in San Diego, CA at 5pm where the Chargers/ Broncos MNF game is in progress....it's 65 here in Columbus, OH. On November 22. A mere....27 days from winter's start and 31 days from Christmas.

I will take this weather ANY day over snow, sleet and ice!....I know snow is a big reason why I have a job........but really........I could do without it!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

10 Day Rundown

Quick rundown of the last 10 days -

Megan & Ryan came to Columbus for the weekend last weekend. They didn't get here until 2am and drove 330 miles to get here, but we had a great time all together. We walked around Easton and "took our fun!" to Dave & Busters. I truly love my sister. We just have so much fun together, and I love talking and laughing with her.

Dallas got a big win last Sunday against division rivals 6-2 Giants! No one (including me) gave them a chance in hell to win that game, but they did! It was a great feeling to actually feel proud of my team.

This week was another ridiculous week at work. It has been a really trying last month or so, but I'm just trying to hang in there.....

Had to send flowers to a crewleader's family this week for the death of his sister. This guy is one of those slightly older guys, just blue collar, comes to work day in and day out, works his butt off, always does what you ask and then some. His sister was only early 40s and died unexpectedly in her sleep. So sad.

The saddest, most tragic moment of the week, though, came on Friday afternoon. I learned that one of my fellow BAs here in Columbus is, and will be, going through something I can't even imagine. The story has been all over Columbus, Ohio and the US......the 4 people that went missing last Thursday (a mother and her 2 children + a family friend) were found this past week. The 13-year old girl was found bound and gagged in this sicko's home (but alive, thank God), and the other 3's bodies were found in the bottom of a hollowed out tree outside of Columbus. No other details have been released, and I'm not sure that I care to know. All I know is that someone I know now has to go through life without her sister-in-law and nephew, and somehow help her niece through what must have been an unimaginable 4 days before she was found. I am heartbroken and outraged.........and ??? It's hard to explain. When a tragedy like this happens across the country, it's sad. You don't know those people, you think about them while it's in the news, but after something else comes into the spotlight, you quickly forget about it. But this.......this just hit a little too close to home. There ARE bad people out there. Sick people. And now a friend of mine is hurting because of it. You just never know. If you're reading this, please keep Trisha and her family in your prayers.

Another sad day was yesterday. November 20, 1980 - a day that obviously I wasn't around for.....but had it not been for that day.....my parents may not have gotten married as soon as they did (they had been engaged for 3 weeks on that day, but weren't planning a wedding until 1983)....and obviously wouldn't have had me when they did. My dad almost didn't make it through that day alive. That day is why I don't take any kind of mental illness lightly...........that day is, without a doubt, why my dad is who he is today.......everything I know about that day is from my mom and Nana and those who were there that day, because my dad doesn't talk about it. That day is why, no matter how often in my life I've seen my dad run without a shirt, do yardwork without a shirt, etc - I always cringe and am a little sad for my dad.....even if somehow he could put that day out of his mind, the 2 scars he has (one in his back, one on the side of his stomach) won't ever allow him to forget. And at the end of that day........my mom almost lost her would-be husband, and my dad lost his dad. Mental illness is no joke. It is scary, scary business. Who knows how that whole day would've been different if they would've known what we all know now about schizophrenia.

Today, the Cowboys get another win.........winning streak alert!

But somehow, birthdays and Cowboys wins all seem a little less important in the light of what happens in this world on a daily basis. Somehow, though, life went on after that day in 1980......and life will still go on after this past week. That's where family and friends are so, so important...........I can't think of a better week for Thanksgiving.

God bless all........

Thursday, November 11, 2010

27

I turned 21 on a Thursday.

I just turned 27, today, 11/11/10, on a Thursday.

I look back and think about how fast the last 6 years have gone. I remember my 21st birthday like it was yesterday - still living at "Old Bethel," counting down the days, going out to bars with AOII sisters and friends the night before.........getting up late on Thursday and having a test in my 3:30 class (Intermediate Accg 2) and 5:30 (Management). As I recall, I bombed both tests, bad. Oh well..............................

In the last 6 years, I have:

* moved.....5 times (Old Bethel > New Bethel > Abbott St > Terre Haute > Columbus Apt #1 > Columbus Apt #2)
* graduated college
* gotten engaged (and married)
* changed jobs.......3 times (sounds worse than it is, 2 of those times were due to moving: Old National (Muncie) > First Merchants (Muncie) > Weyerhaeuser/ IP (Terre Haute) > Brickman (Columbus)
* witnessed my sister graduating from college and getting married
* watched my baby brother go from a scrawny little 9-year old to a 6'2" young man, a sophomore in high school who's too funny for his own good and is already a heartbreaker....those poor girls
* questioned my faith
* questioned my relationships across the board
* questioned myself
* attended the funerals of 2 of Chris' family members - his Aunt Joyce in 2005, and his Grandpa this past April
* attended more weddings than I can count; been a direct part of......4? Is that it? Ashley, Allison, my own, Megan?
* watched friends, family members and sorority sisters welcome babies into the world.

Wow............what a whirlwind its been.

The only thing I could've predicted for sure at this time 6 years ago was that I would still be with Chris. And against all odds - I got that prediction right. I am so lucky.

Today, I received phone calls, texts, facebook messages and cards (and an overly-decorated-office......pictures to come later). It is an undescribable feeling tonight, as I'm about to go to bed......that I am as blessed as I am, with the people around me that are there.

It has been a great birthday. As time starts flying faster and faster, birthdays start meaning less about the gifts and cards and meals out - and more about the people that you love, and that love you back.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Forgiveness

A friend of my sister's that I'm friends with on facebook had a GREAT quote up today:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”-Catherine Ponder

I'm a grudge holder. I'm vindictive. I seek revenge on people that hurt me (never in any kind of violent manner but usually in a passive aggressive manner, which when other people do it annoys me, so I should stop) or people I love.

The last 9 months have been eventful, emotionally turbulent and just HARD. In those 9 months I hurt more people than necessary - disappointed others - pushed still others away - and did a lot of soul searching.

But at the end of these past 9 months, I still find myself hurt by some. Disappointed by some. Flat out mad at others.

Take a deep breath. Let it out. Forgive. And move on.

Like my Mom loves to say: "It is what it is."

Monday, November 8, 2010

Operation 13.1

May 7, 2011. Goal: Complete the Indianapolis Mini Marathon in (around) 2 hours.

180 days away.

Just under 26 weeks.

I haven't really been in any kind of running regimen since (gulp) before vacation. I've ran since then, of course, but not on any kind of schedule.

That changes now.

At the suggestion of one of my sorority sisters who recently ran her first mini ever, I have printed off and dedicated myself to a "novice" running program to get me ready for a race like this......it's a 12 week program so I think I'm going to double it up to help me ease into it. In the 2 weeks before I start that, I've looked up some various interval training material to get me back into a groove to where I can get used to running again.

I really do enjoy running. Of course, starting it back up after being out it is never fun, but when I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this summer, I felt invincible. Strong. Fit. It's also a good time to just turn up some good, loud music and let my mind just clear itself out. The cold weather we're starting to experience is tough to run in, but I'd rather the cold anyday over the sweltering heat and humidity of this past summer! But - if I can get through 3, 4 & 5 mile runs in 95* heat with 90% humidity - I think I can handle a little chilly weather (especially since I started running in that last year).

So, Indy Mini - here we come! (My mom has already signed up to walk it - it will be her 3rd Mini!) Wish us luck :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Voting & A Confession

I voted for the first time today as a resident of the Buckeye State (I voted absentee in Indiana in 2008 b/c I didn't get my butt in gear to register here in time).

What a cool thing voting is.

Now, I am THRILLED TO DEATH that this day is almost over, because with today's end, so comes the end of all of the yard signs, billboards.......and worst of all, all the tv and radio ads. The negative, bashing, awful ads that do more to point out opponents' doings than their own. To tell you the truth, I didn't even really think about who I was going to vote for until today at work, but then I was able to go online, put in my address, and compare candidates and issues that I would be voting on. I did the same thing for EVERY comparison........scrolled right down to the bottom of the page to the question: "Bottom line: why should people vote for you?" and marked down my choices based on their answers. I did, as expected, vote more Republican than Democrat, but there were a few in there. If only every politician did what they said they would do.....but we'd never know if we didn't vote! I think that everyone can agree that the way that the system has been operating in recent years hasn't been working. We'll see if change really comes.

Anyway. On a lighter note (well, not so light to me....sad face)......I bought my first night cream a couple weeks ago. Anti wrinkle night cream. It wasn't expensive, just Garnier brand, but I'm seriously starting to notice some changes in my skin and face (or maybe it's more me being paranoid, but still). I also bought some eye stuff......by the end of everyday, I look like I've been punched in both eyes. Dark circles, puffy.......sick.

A little vanity never killed anybody. Too bad at this time of year, I really like to tan.........but then I wonder why I'm getting little wrinkles. Nikki, be smart. (Oh, but how I love tanning).......

Monday, November 1, 2010

Happy November!

60 days til 2011. Unreal!

I have to say, the next 60 days are my favorite months of the year. Weather starts getting chillier, perfect for hoodies, jeans & boots (I could do without the snow though).....football season is well underway (well, actually, I'm good on this season for now, but I still like football more than any other sport)......my birthday! (eventually I'll quit being excited about it.....hahahaha), Thanksgiving, the hustle & bustle of Christmas - it's such a family time, and a loving time, and I really do love every minute of it.

Cowboys are now 1-6. I've never turned off a game before, but Chris & I left the house 2 minutes into the 4th quarter yesterday b/c if we didn't, I was going to break something. I wish I had more money than Jerry Jones, b/c then I'd just fire them all. Except about 4 players (Dez Bryant, Tashard Choice, Keith Brooking and Demarcus Ware) and Joe DeCamillis (ST coach). They're pitiful.

Work is......well, work. Not much I can say over the internet. It's only Monday and I'm already looking forward to the weekend. Sad....

Chris & I had a relaxing weekend (except for a hiccup Saturday night.......amazing that after almost 8 years together we still don't always fight fair. It's a process......a learning experience, a journey.....) and sometimes I really just have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

My biggest lesson learned this weekend? I can't expect others to move on if I can't.