I'm feeling a little better today. A little less....unglued. A little more together. A little less unhinged.
(Work and all of the guys I work with may put me in the looney bin, but that's another story. I got through the day without strangling anyone, and for that I deserve a big bonus!)
I've decided I just have to go about my life like normal. And then, when (not if, when) we do get pregnant, then I'll make adjustments.
That being said, I think I'm 90% talked into running the mini again next year. Columbus or Indy, I don't know yet, but it was a nice goal to work towards the first time, and this second time, I'd love to run it faster than I did last time. I'd LOVE to run it in about 2:10 (a steady 10 minute pace), but anything under 2:30 I'd be thrilled with. We'll see.
A guy from work also brought me the Insanity dvd's. I've heard a few people that have had great results from it, and it would be something else to a) get myself into shape and b) feel better about myself and c) get my mind off of everything. It's supposed to be pretty intense, but I need a good challenge.
I ALSO think I may start selling Scentsy soon. Don't know what Scentsy is? You will soon! :) I LOVE their stuff and, unlike 31, hasn't really taken off here yet (ie, everyone and their mom isn't selling it yet). Also unlike 31, people can run out of products, so the opportunities for selling are a lot higher. Maybe. I haven't quite decided, but I'm leaning towards it.
...."hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2012
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Facebook failure
You know, Facebook is good for a lot of things.
Keeping in touch with family and friends. Stalking "acquaintances" from high school, just to see what they're up to. Seeing pictures of those you don't see nearly often enough in real life. Finding friends near and far who share your passions. Getting ideas. Reading the news in your hometown.
But you know what else I'm finding?
Facebook is really good at making you feel like you're a complete and utter failure at life.
I'm not losing and haven't lost any weight recently. I don't run nearly as much as I used to. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping, let alone wrapped it and hidden it under the tree. Chris and I are trying for a baby and here I am with friends popping out their 2nd, 3rd, 4th.....babies. At our age. I don't have a social life (or much of one). The biggest hobby in my life (as always) is following the Cowboys. My job is so-so. I enjoy it probably slightly more than the average person, but I don't necessarily feel like I've found my life's calling. I don't pray enough. I eat way more than enough. I don't keep in close enough touch with friends. My marriage is (far from) perfect. My family is completely nuts. And the list goes on........
There was an article in.....Cosmo? I think not too long ago about the dangers of facebook and how it can cause women to start unfairly comparing themselves to all their "friends" on facebook. How most people aren't going to put up the worst parts of their lives (God knows I don't) for all to see, they're mostly going to put up all the great things. Great things don't happen to everyone, everyday. Everyone has ups and downs. It's just so easy to forget that though, on facebook.
Here's what I do know.
Chris & I have made it through some of the hardest things a couple can go through, and we're still together. I'm ALLOWED to be stupidly passionate about the Cowboys b/c you know what? I don't have any kids. It's not like I'm neglecting buying my kids clothes when I pay $35/ month for the NFL Ticket. Chris and I may have been together for almost 9 years, but we can still fight with the best of 'em, over the littlest things. Does that make me doubt that we'll be good parents just b/c we have disagreements? Hell no. My job doesn't pay nearly enough, but you know what? It's a job. And it's a job that I am good at. And it's a job that I (most/ some days) enjoy. I don't get summer vacations, I don't get spring breaks, I don't get Christmas vacations, I don't get fall breaks, but that's okay. I work just as hard as anyone else and I'm proud of that. I manage to sock a little away every pay period to put into a 401k. We make enough combined to go out every once in awhile and do something fun. I talk to my parents and siblings often. I don't talk to college friends near often enough, but there's a point in everyone's life where people start to drift apart and away from each other. Being 4 hours away from everyone doesn't help.
It may be the hardest thing EVER, but I may have to take a break from facebook for awhile. Bring myself back down to Earth and remind myself that my life is, as a matter of fact, pretty good. We do ok. And the only person who can change that is Chris or me. Not what anyone else does, or says, or thinks.
Keeping in touch with family and friends. Stalking "acquaintances" from high school, just to see what they're up to. Seeing pictures of those you don't see nearly often enough in real life. Finding friends near and far who share your passions. Getting ideas. Reading the news in your hometown.
But you know what else I'm finding?
Facebook is really good at making you feel like you're a complete and utter failure at life.
I'm not losing and haven't lost any weight recently. I don't run nearly as much as I used to. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping, let alone wrapped it and hidden it under the tree. Chris and I are trying for a baby and here I am with friends popping out their 2nd, 3rd, 4th.....babies. At our age. I don't have a social life (or much of one). The biggest hobby in my life (as always) is following the Cowboys. My job is so-so. I enjoy it probably slightly more than the average person, but I don't necessarily feel like I've found my life's calling. I don't pray enough. I eat way more than enough. I don't keep in close enough touch with friends. My marriage is (far from) perfect. My family is completely nuts. And the list goes on........
There was an article in.....Cosmo? I think not too long ago about the dangers of facebook and how it can cause women to start unfairly comparing themselves to all their "friends" on facebook. How most people aren't going to put up the worst parts of their lives (God knows I don't) for all to see, they're mostly going to put up all the great things. Great things don't happen to everyone, everyday. Everyone has ups and downs. It's just so easy to forget that though, on facebook.
Here's what I do know.
Chris & I have made it through some of the hardest things a couple can go through, and we're still together. I'm ALLOWED to be stupidly passionate about the Cowboys b/c you know what? I don't have any kids. It's not like I'm neglecting buying my kids clothes when I pay $35/ month for the NFL Ticket. Chris and I may have been together for almost 9 years, but we can still fight with the best of 'em, over the littlest things. Does that make me doubt that we'll be good parents just b/c we have disagreements? Hell no. My job doesn't pay nearly enough, but you know what? It's a job. And it's a job that I am good at. And it's a job that I (most/ some days) enjoy. I don't get summer vacations, I don't get spring breaks, I don't get Christmas vacations, I don't get fall breaks, but that's okay. I work just as hard as anyone else and I'm proud of that. I manage to sock a little away every pay period to put into a 401k. We make enough combined to go out every once in awhile and do something fun. I talk to my parents and siblings often. I don't talk to college friends near often enough, but there's a point in everyone's life where people start to drift apart and away from each other. Being 4 hours away from everyone doesn't help.
It may be the hardest thing EVER, but I may have to take a break from facebook for awhile. Bring myself back down to Earth and remind myself that my life is, as a matter of fact, pretty good. We do ok. And the only person who can change that is Chris or me. Not what anyone else does, or says, or thinks.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Forgiveness
A friend of my sister's that I'm friends with on facebook had a GREAT quote up today:
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”-Catherine Ponder
I'm a grudge holder. I'm vindictive. I seek revenge on people that hurt me (never in any kind of violent manner but usually in a passive aggressive manner, which when other people do it annoys me, so I should stop) or people I love.
The last 9 months have been eventful, emotionally turbulent and just HARD. In those 9 months I hurt more people than necessary - disappointed others - pushed still others away - and did a lot of soul searching.
But at the end of these past 9 months, I still find myself hurt by some. Disappointed by some. Flat out mad at others.
Take a deep breath. Let it out. Forgive. And move on.
Like my Mom loves to say: "It is what it is."
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”-Catherine Ponder
I'm a grudge holder. I'm vindictive. I seek revenge on people that hurt me (never in any kind of violent manner but usually in a passive aggressive manner, which when other people do it annoys me, so I should stop) or people I love.
The last 9 months have been eventful, emotionally turbulent and just HARD. In those 9 months I hurt more people than necessary - disappointed others - pushed still others away - and did a lot of soul searching.
But at the end of these past 9 months, I still find myself hurt by some. Disappointed by some. Flat out mad at others.
Take a deep breath. Let it out. Forgive. And move on.
Like my Mom loves to say: "It is what it is."
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The long offseason begins.....
Well, that sucked.
I was quietly confident the Cowboys could win today. Play like they've played against the Eagles in the last 2 weeks, and there's no chance we could lose.
Well, the o-line not showing up, the offensive playcalling was about as uncreative as I've seen all season, 6 sacks, 2 lost fumbles, 1 INT, and 2 missed field goals didn't really constitute as playing like we did in the last 2 weeks.
Oh well, I guess...at least the playoff-win-drought monkey is off our backs. This loss will hurt for awhile, though....
Good things:
Thursday > finally completed my "WIG" (wildly important goal) for the first time since the week of 12/7 at work. The administrators in Columbus have been working to lower our DSO (days sales outstanding) since April, and there are 2 specific tasks we have to do each week to get this done. With short weeks, the holidays, and snow, I just wasn't getting those tasks done, and it felt good to be GREEN this week! I also got a good run in that day.
Friday > was a rough day. Overly tired from not sleeping well Thursday night, which turned into me being annoyed at every little thing. I paid over $250K worth of branch invoices on Friday and that's always a huge task - so I guess that was a good thing.
Yesterday > drove to Indy to meet Mom, Megan, & Nana to pick out bridesmaids' dresses. Ignoring the customer-service-less lady at the front desk, it was a really fun time. Megan ended up picking the same dresses that the girls wore in the wedding that Chris was in in September, and thankfully, they're pretty :) I'll be wearing black, and the other girls will be in a watermelon color, which should be really cool and gorgeous for pictures. It was a fun day!
Today > it was raining outside and I definitely didn't feel like it, but I got a run in before the game started today. I didn't go as long as I have been doing, but it felt good to get it under my belt :) I have about 16 miles to run between now and next Saturday (1/30) to meet my first self-made goal. I think I can do it!
Hopefully this week will be a good one and go quickly. I have to go have 5 spots removed (3 suspicious-looking moles the doctor didn't like, and 2 that have annoyed me for forever) on Wednesday, so I'm a little tense about that, but I'm sure it'll be fine. It's also the last fiscal week of January. Wow!
Well, off to do some more laundry and squeeze some more r&r out of this weekend. 5:30am on Monday morning will come way too quick!
I was quietly confident the Cowboys could win today. Play like they've played against the Eagles in the last 2 weeks, and there's no chance we could lose.
Well, the o-line not showing up, the offensive playcalling was about as uncreative as I've seen all season, 6 sacks, 2 lost fumbles, 1 INT, and 2 missed field goals didn't really constitute as playing like we did in the last 2 weeks.
Oh well, I guess...at least the playoff-win-drought monkey is off our backs. This loss will hurt for awhile, though....
Good things:
Thursday > finally completed my "WIG" (wildly important goal) for the first time since the week of 12/7 at work. The administrators in Columbus have been working to lower our DSO (days sales outstanding) since April, and there are 2 specific tasks we have to do each week to get this done. With short weeks, the holidays, and snow, I just wasn't getting those tasks done, and it felt good to be GREEN this week! I also got a good run in that day.
Friday > was a rough day. Overly tired from not sleeping well Thursday night, which turned into me being annoyed at every little thing. I paid over $250K worth of branch invoices on Friday and that's always a huge task - so I guess that was a good thing.
Yesterday > drove to Indy to meet Mom, Megan, & Nana to pick out bridesmaids' dresses. Ignoring the customer-service-less lady at the front desk, it was a really fun time. Megan ended up picking the same dresses that the girls wore in the wedding that Chris was in in September, and thankfully, they're pretty :) I'll be wearing black, and the other girls will be in a watermelon color, which should be really cool and gorgeous for pictures. It was a fun day!
Today > it was raining outside and I definitely didn't feel like it, but I got a run in before the game started today. I didn't go as long as I have been doing, but it felt good to get it under my belt :) I have about 16 miles to run between now and next Saturday (1/30) to meet my first self-made goal. I think I can do it!
Hopefully this week will be a good one and go quickly. I have to go have 5 spots removed (3 suspicious-looking moles the doctor didn't like, and 2 that have annoyed me for forever) on Wednesday, so I'm a little tense about that, but I'm sure it'll be fine. It's also the last fiscal week of January. Wow!
Well, off to do some more laundry and squeeze some more r&r out of this weekend. 5:30am on Monday morning will come way too quick!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Good BYE, 2009!
Well, today officially wrapped up 2009. Our year-end/ December close was today, and I'm so relieved. Closes in general are stressful, but there is so much that has to be done and accounted for at year-end - on TOP of snow - that I'm glad, glad, glad it's over! Another branch's close took 5.5 hours yesterday, and ours lasted just under 3 hours. For all the hours everyone has worked lately, I'm so proud of the guys I work with, because they really do make my job easier (sometimes!)
So that was the good thing for today.
Monday - probably the only good thing was that it ended (ha). It was a crazy day at work (6+ hours of snow payroll), and cold, and just a MONDAY!
Yesterday - I hit a new "personal best" while running - 2.62 miles in 25 minutes. Not that great, but it was in the cold and sometimes snowy/ icy roads & sidewalks - but it felt good! It's actually getting easier to run outside as far as breathing goes. At first it felt like I was breathing in needles, but now it's getting better.
I'm off to bed....a little earlier tonight than normal. With the close today and the amount of hours I've been putting into work, I'm just worn out. Today was also one of those days.....hard, overwhelming, and having a generally negative attitude towards everyone and everything. Hopefully a good night's sleep will turn my demeanor around!
Night!
So that was the good thing for today.
Monday - probably the only good thing was that it ended (ha). It was a crazy day at work (6+ hours of snow payroll), and cold, and just a MONDAY!
Yesterday - I hit a new "personal best" while running - 2.62 miles in 25 minutes. Not that great, but it was in the cold and sometimes snowy/ icy roads & sidewalks - but it felt good! It's actually getting easier to run outside as far as breathing goes. At first it felt like I was breathing in needles, but now it's getting better.
I'm off to bed....a little earlier tonight than normal. With the close today and the amount of hours I've been putting into work, I'm just worn out. Today was also one of those days.....hard, overwhelming, and having a generally negative attitude towards everyone and everything. Hopefully a good night's sleep will turn my demeanor around!
Night!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Bad Attitude
I have a very bad attitude today. I don't know why. Nothing in particular has happened today, well, besides the fact that my car's alternator seems to be going out, but besides that....I'm just in a BAD mood. The day started off great....talked to my Dad for a few minutes (I had to quiz him on a Cowboys trivia question), which always cheers me up. He is always able to keep me from spinning out of control and putting things in perspective - he just tells it like it is. Black, and white. That's it. Of course, Mom is good at putting things in perspective, too - she and I just like to put a little more...."emotion" in things though, sometimes!
My problem is, I think, that I let the people around me affect how my day is going to go. If people around me are stressed, I get stressed (well, that kind of goes with my job. If people around me are going crazy with work, I'm their support system). If people around me are sad and down, I feel myself coming down. If people around me are happy and "up," so am I. Is that normal? Maybe it is, coming from a female perspective. We tend to want to help people...and no one wants to be THAT person...the downer when everyone is happy, the super-hyper-happy person when people are down.
I'm an adult. I should be able to completely think for myself, and do my thing, and not really care what people think. But that's not the case. I let people get to me. I let things that don't even INVOLVE me or my family or loved ones get to me. Why can't I just block out that "bad" stuff? Go about my day, go about my life, live my life, do my thing...without worrying what other people are going to think?
PSHT. I need to get out of my own head right now and count my blessings. Focus on the good, the potential, the promises. I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for that I just can't let people get to me as easily as I do.
Easier said than done.
Time for some deflation. Tomorrow is a morning full of meetings and an afternoon of preparing for having Monday off. Is it 5:00 on Friday yet?
My problem is, I think, that I let the people around me affect how my day is going to go. If people around me are stressed, I get stressed (well, that kind of goes with my job. If people around me are going crazy with work, I'm their support system). If people around me are sad and down, I feel myself coming down. If people around me are happy and "up," so am I. Is that normal? Maybe it is, coming from a female perspective. We tend to want to help people...and no one wants to be THAT person...the downer when everyone is happy, the super-hyper-happy person when people are down.
I'm an adult. I should be able to completely think for myself, and do my thing, and not really care what people think. But that's not the case. I let people get to me. I let things that don't even INVOLVE me or my family or loved ones get to me. Why can't I just block out that "bad" stuff? Go about my day, go about my life, live my life, do my thing...without worrying what other people are going to think?
PSHT. I need to get out of my own head right now and count my blessings. Focus on the good, the potential, the promises. I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for that I just can't let people get to me as easily as I do.
Easier said than done.
Time for some deflation. Tomorrow is a morning full of meetings and an afternoon of preparing for having Monday off. Is it 5:00 on Friday yet?
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