You know, Facebook is good for a lot of things.
Keeping in touch with family and friends. Stalking "acquaintances" from high school, just to see what they're up to. Seeing pictures of those you don't see nearly often enough in real life. Finding friends near and far who share your passions. Getting ideas. Reading the news in your hometown.
But you know what else I'm finding?
Facebook is really good at making you feel like you're a complete and utter failure at life.
I'm not losing and haven't lost any weight recently. I don't run nearly as much as I used to. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping, let alone wrapped it and hidden it under the tree. Chris and I are trying for a baby and here I am with friends popping out their 2nd, 3rd, 4th.....babies. At our age. I don't have a social life (or much of one). The biggest hobby in my life (as always) is following the Cowboys. My job is so-so. I enjoy it probably slightly more than the average person, but I don't necessarily feel like I've found my life's calling. I don't pray enough. I eat way more than enough. I don't keep in close enough touch with friends. My marriage is (far from) perfect. My family is completely nuts. And the list goes on........
There was an article in.....Cosmo? I think not too long ago about the dangers of facebook and how it can cause women to start unfairly comparing themselves to all their "friends" on facebook. How most people aren't going to put up the worst parts of their lives (God knows I don't) for all to see, they're mostly going to put up all the great things. Great things don't happen to everyone, everyday. Everyone has ups and downs. It's just so easy to forget that though, on facebook.
Here's what I do know.
Chris & I have made it through some of the hardest things a couple can go through, and we're still together. I'm ALLOWED to be stupidly passionate about the Cowboys b/c you know what? I don't have any kids. It's not like I'm neglecting buying my kids clothes when I pay $35/ month for the NFL Ticket. Chris and I may have been together for almost 9 years, but we can still fight with the best of 'em, over the littlest things. Does that make me doubt that we'll be good parents just b/c we have disagreements? Hell no. My job doesn't pay nearly enough, but you know what? It's a job. And it's a job that I am good at. And it's a job that I (most/ some days) enjoy. I don't get summer vacations, I don't get spring breaks, I don't get Christmas vacations, I don't get fall breaks, but that's okay. I work just as hard as anyone else and I'm proud of that. I manage to sock a little away every pay period to put into a 401k. We make enough combined to go out every once in awhile and do something fun. I talk to my parents and siblings often. I don't talk to college friends near often enough, but there's a point in everyone's life where people start to drift apart and away from each other. Being 4 hours away from everyone doesn't help.
It may be the hardest thing EVER, but I may have to take a break from facebook for awhile. Bring myself back down to Earth and remind myself that my life is, as a matter of fact, pretty good. We do ok. And the only person who can change that is Chris or me. Not what anyone else does, or says, or thinks.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Decisions
Yesterday, I made a decision. I decided I was TIRED of being back in my non-skinny-ish pants....I was TIRED of looking through last year's pictures and being disgusted with my current self b/c I KNOW what it takes....I was TIRED of just feeling like CRAP.
So, yesterday, I did 3 things. I got about 50 oz of water in (not 64, but a lot more than I've been drinking recently), I put my running shoes on and ran (jogged) for 2.03 miles (further than I've ran anytime in the last month, and it was slow, but I did it) and lastly, instead of a little ice cream after dinner, I had a yogurt. Today was more of the same....more water during the day and just finished a quick (1.5 miles, but more painful than yesterday) run.
Getting back to it isn't easy - it's HARD. But I didn't get back to my current self overnight, so fixing it isn't going to happen overnight, either.
There is no magic number on the scale. Not for me. Last year, I thought there was, but as I lingered around the 10-pounds-away mark, I felt GOOD. I didn't feel like I was depriving myself (WHAT?! Still able to eat Olive Garden!?!? Yes. It's true. But instead of 3 breadsticks, a salad [which, by the way, by the bowl - THREE HUNDRED CALORIES] and a full meal, I'd have ONE breadstick, a couple bites of salad, and HALF my dinner [I'd immediately ask for a to-go box and box half of my meal as soon as it came out b/c I tend to pick at food if it's in front of me]? McDonalds? SURE! But instead of a large Big Mac meal, I'd order a Happy Meal), I had the highest cardio endurance I could remember, and I wasn't disgusted with myself in pictures.
I want to get back to that place. The place where all of my currently-2-sizes-too-small pants are back on my shelf that's in reach. The place where I don't cringe at a picture of myself. The place where I just. feel. better. about. myself.
That's all. As it gets colder outside and darker earlier, it's going to be hard to keep myself motivated. But as Chris and I continue talking about and trying to start a family, I need to start taking better of myself.
Wait. Let me rephrase.
".....I WILL start taking better care of myself."
Period.
So, yesterday, I did 3 things. I got about 50 oz of water in (not 64, but a lot more than I've been drinking recently), I put my running shoes on and ran (jogged) for 2.03 miles (further than I've ran anytime in the last month, and it was slow, but I did it) and lastly, instead of a little ice cream after dinner, I had a yogurt. Today was more of the same....more water during the day and just finished a quick (1.5 miles, but more painful than yesterday) run.
Getting back to it isn't easy - it's HARD. But I didn't get back to my current self overnight, so fixing it isn't going to happen overnight, either.
There is no magic number on the scale. Not for me. Last year, I thought there was, but as I lingered around the 10-pounds-away mark, I felt GOOD. I didn't feel like I was depriving myself (WHAT?! Still able to eat Olive Garden!?!? Yes. It's true. But instead of 3 breadsticks, a salad [which, by the way, by the bowl - THREE HUNDRED CALORIES] and a full meal, I'd have ONE breadstick, a couple bites of salad, and HALF my dinner [I'd immediately ask for a to-go box and box half of my meal as soon as it came out b/c I tend to pick at food if it's in front of me]? McDonalds? SURE! But instead of a large Big Mac meal, I'd order a Happy Meal), I had the highest cardio endurance I could remember, and I wasn't disgusted with myself in pictures.
I want to get back to that place. The place where all of my currently-2-sizes-too-small pants are back on my shelf that's in reach. The place where I don't cringe at a picture of myself. The place where I just. feel. better. about. myself.
That's all. As it gets colder outside and darker earlier, it's going to be hard to keep myself motivated. But as Chris and I continue talking about and trying to start a family, I need to start taking better of myself.
Wait. Let me rephrase.
".....I WILL start taking better care of myself."
Period.
Friday, November 4, 2011
November??!
What a crazy couple of weeks this has been. In short:
1. We moved into a cute little rental house on the 15/16. We love it and everything big is unpacked and in place, but all of the little things (hanging pictures, unpacking non-everyday clothes, unpacking the randoms) just need to get done b/c the random unsettledness is driving me crazy.
2. Chris' parents were over on the 22/23. We had a very relaxing and low key weekend - nothing big to report. The most exciting thing from the weekend was buying a new programmable thermostat for the house that Chris' stepdad installed.
3. Snow is coming. Work is getting crazy. It's my 4th snow season with Brickman, but 1st at the new branch....always a lot of work.
4. Thanksgiving is now less than 3 weeks away. Which means Christmas is a mere 7 weeks away. We are in no shape or form prepared for either holiday.
5. Cowboys have managed to grab losses from the jaws of victory 3 times this season (@ the Jets, home vs Detroit and on the road @ the Patriots) and just lay a big turd another game this past weekend to be 3-4 going into this weekend. Thankfully, the hardest part of our schedule is now behind while the rest of our division has tough months ahead. No one expected Dallas to do better than 9-7 or 8-8, but now that they're in the season, they're getting slammed for not leading the division after 8 weeks. Lame.
6. Still no baby. Trying to relax and not overthink it, but it's hard to "just let it happen." How does one do that, exactly? How do you spend a good portion of your late teens & early 20s doing everything POSSIBLE to prevent and then all of a sudden "oh, just have fun with it! God will let it happen in His own time!" If one more person tells me to just "relax," I'm going to flip. out. I'm doing my best people, but my slightly anal-retentive nature is hard to overcome. I know a baby will come in its own sweet time; I'm just used at being good at things the first time I try them :-\ ((That came out really conceited, but I just mean in things like school and numbers, etc........))
7. Not huge baseball fans in the King household although my dad has always loved the Cardinals and Chris has passively followed them as long as I've known him, so it was fun to watch St. Louis come from out of nowhere to win the wild card, beat the favored Phillies, win the pennant against Milwaukee & take the Rangers in 7 to win their 11th Championship ever. At least one of our teams is going somewhere this year (lame).
8. When your husband tells you to "stay between the boards" while crawling through the attic, he means to stay on the rafters. Not on the panels in between. Not following those directions causes one to almost fall completely through their kitchen ceiling, bust up their right shin & have the black and blue bruise to end all black and blue bruises on their left butt cheek. Ouch. Needless to say, we have not been able to get internet and cable to the bedroom we need it in; I'm typing this post from the buffet in the kitchen. Oh well. We'll get there......eventually.
9. I'm doing absolutely nothing between now and Sunday. I may not even bathe. Okay, I'll bathe. But after moving 3 weekends ago, Chris' parents 2 weekends ago, getting our apartment closed up last week......then next weekend I'm going to E-ville with my mom and sister, weekend after that friends are coming, weekend after that is Thanksgiving, weekend after that is DECEMBER.......yeah, doing. nothing. this weekend.
10. That is all...........looking forward to the coolest day in history, ever - 11.11.11 - my 28th birthday ;-)
1. We moved into a cute little rental house on the 15/16. We love it and everything big is unpacked and in place, but all of the little things (hanging pictures, unpacking non-everyday clothes, unpacking the randoms) just need to get done b/c the random unsettledness is driving me crazy.
2. Chris' parents were over on the 22/23. We had a very relaxing and low key weekend - nothing big to report. The most exciting thing from the weekend was buying a new programmable thermostat for the house that Chris' stepdad installed.
3. Snow is coming. Work is getting crazy. It's my 4th snow season with Brickman, but 1st at the new branch....always a lot of work.
4. Thanksgiving is now less than 3 weeks away. Which means Christmas is a mere 7 weeks away. We are in no shape or form prepared for either holiday.
5. Cowboys have managed to grab losses from the jaws of victory 3 times this season (@ the Jets, home vs Detroit and on the road @ the Patriots) and just lay a big turd another game this past weekend to be 3-4 going into this weekend. Thankfully, the hardest part of our schedule is now behind while the rest of our division has tough months ahead. No one expected Dallas to do better than 9-7 or 8-8, but now that they're in the season, they're getting slammed for not leading the division after 8 weeks. Lame.
6. Still no baby. Trying to relax and not overthink it, but it's hard to "just let it happen." How does one do that, exactly? How do you spend a good portion of your late teens & early 20s doing everything POSSIBLE to prevent and then all of a sudden "oh, just have fun with it! God will let it happen in His own time!" If one more person tells me to just "relax," I'm going to flip. out. I'm doing my best people, but my slightly anal-retentive nature is hard to overcome. I know a baby will come in its own sweet time; I'm just used at being good at things the first time I try them :-\ ((That came out really conceited, but I just mean in things like school and numbers, etc........))
7. Not huge baseball fans in the King household although my dad has always loved the Cardinals and Chris has passively followed them as long as I've known him, so it was fun to watch St. Louis come from out of nowhere to win the wild card, beat the favored Phillies, win the pennant against Milwaukee & take the Rangers in 7 to win their 11th Championship ever. At least one of our teams is going somewhere this year (lame).
8. When your husband tells you to "stay between the boards" while crawling through the attic, he means to stay on the rafters. Not on the panels in between. Not following those directions causes one to almost fall completely through their kitchen ceiling, bust up their right shin & have the black and blue bruise to end all black and blue bruises on their left butt cheek. Ouch. Needless to say, we have not been able to get internet and cable to the bedroom we need it in; I'm typing this post from the buffet in the kitchen. Oh well. We'll get there......eventually.
9. I'm doing absolutely nothing between now and Sunday. I may not even bathe. Okay, I'll bathe. But after moving 3 weekends ago, Chris' parents 2 weekends ago, getting our apartment closed up last week......then next weekend I'm going to E-ville with my mom and sister, weekend after that friends are coming, weekend after that is Thanksgiving, weekend after that is DECEMBER.......yeah, doing. nothing. this weekend.
10. That is all...........looking forward to the coolest day in history, ever - 11.11.11 - my 28th birthday ;-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)