A friend of my sister's that I'm friends with on facebook had a GREAT quote up today:
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”-Catherine Ponder
I'm a grudge holder. I'm vindictive. I seek revenge on people that hurt me (never in any kind of violent manner but usually in a passive aggressive manner, which when other people do it annoys me, so I should stop) or people I love.
The last 9 months have been eventful, emotionally turbulent and just HARD. In those 9 months I hurt more people than necessary - disappointed others - pushed still others away - and did a lot of soul searching.
But at the end of these past 9 months, I still find myself hurt by some. Disappointed by some. Flat out mad at others.
Take a deep breath. Let it out. Forgive. And move on.
Like my Mom loves to say: "It is what it is."
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Operation 13.1
May 7, 2011. Goal: Complete the Indianapolis Mini Marathon in (around) 2 hours.
180 days away.
Just under 26 weeks.
I haven't really been in any kind of running regimen since (gulp) before vacation. I've ran since then, of course, but not on any kind of schedule.
That changes now.
At the suggestion of one of my sorority sisters who recently ran her first mini ever, I have printed off and dedicated myself to a "novice" running program to get me ready for a race like this......it's a 12 week program so I think I'm going to double it up to help me ease into it. In the 2 weeks before I start that, I've looked up some various interval training material to get me back into a groove to where I can get used to running again.
I really do enjoy running. Of course, starting it back up after being out it is never fun, but when I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this summer, I felt invincible. Strong. Fit. It's also a good time to just turn up some good, loud music and let my mind just clear itself out. The cold weather we're starting to experience is tough to run in, but I'd rather the cold anyday over the sweltering heat and humidity of this past summer! But - if I can get through 3, 4 & 5 mile runs in 95* heat with 90% humidity - I think I can handle a little chilly weather (especially since I started running in that last year).
So, Indy Mini - here we come! (My mom has already signed up to walk it - it will be her 3rd Mini!) Wish us luck :)
180 days away.
Just under 26 weeks.
I haven't really been in any kind of running regimen since (gulp) before vacation. I've ran since then, of course, but not on any kind of schedule.
That changes now.
At the suggestion of one of my sorority sisters who recently ran her first mini ever, I have printed off and dedicated myself to a "novice" running program to get me ready for a race like this......it's a 12 week program so I think I'm going to double it up to help me ease into it. In the 2 weeks before I start that, I've looked up some various interval training material to get me back into a groove to where I can get used to running again.
I really do enjoy running. Of course, starting it back up after being out it is never fun, but when I ran 5 miles for the first time ever this summer, I felt invincible. Strong. Fit. It's also a good time to just turn up some good, loud music and let my mind just clear itself out. The cold weather we're starting to experience is tough to run in, but I'd rather the cold anyday over the sweltering heat and humidity of this past summer! But - if I can get through 3, 4 & 5 mile runs in 95* heat with 90% humidity - I think I can handle a little chilly weather (especially since I started running in that last year).
So, Indy Mini - here we come! (My mom has already signed up to walk it - it will be her 3rd Mini!) Wish us luck :)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Voting & A Confession
I voted for the first time today as a resident of the Buckeye State (I voted absentee in Indiana in 2008 b/c I didn't get my butt in gear to register here in time).
What a cool thing voting is.
Now, I am THRILLED TO DEATH that this day is almost over, because with today's end, so comes the end of all of the yard signs, billboards.......and worst of all, all the tv and radio ads. The negative, bashing, awful ads that do more to point out opponents' doings than their own. To tell you the truth, I didn't even really think about who I was going to vote for until today at work, but then I was able to go online, put in my address, and compare candidates and issues that I would be voting on. I did the same thing for EVERY comparison........scrolled right down to the bottom of the page to the question: "Bottom line: why should people vote for you?" and marked down my choices based on their answers. I did, as expected, vote more Republican than Democrat, but there were a few in there. If only every politician did what they said they would do.....but we'd never know if we didn't vote! I think that everyone can agree that the way that the system has been operating in recent years hasn't been working. We'll see if change really comes.
Anyway. On a lighter note (well, not so light to me....sad face)......I bought my first night cream a couple weeks ago. Anti wrinkle night cream. It wasn't expensive, just Garnier brand, but I'm seriously starting to notice some changes in my skin and face (or maybe it's more me being paranoid, but still). I also bought some eye stuff......by the end of everyday, I look like I've been punched in both eyes. Dark circles, puffy.......sick.
A little vanity never killed anybody. Too bad at this time of year, I really like to tan.........but then I wonder why I'm getting little wrinkles. Nikki, be smart. (Oh, but how I love tanning).......
What a cool thing voting is.
Now, I am THRILLED TO DEATH that this day is almost over, because with today's end, so comes the end of all of the yard signs, billboards.......and worst of all, all the tv and radio ads. The negative, bashing, awful ads that do more to point out opponents' doings than their own. To tell you the truth, I didn't even really think about who I was going to vote for until today at work, but then I was able to go online, put in my address, and compare candidates and issues that I would be voting on. I did the same thing for EVERY comparison........scrolled right down to the bottom of the page to the question: "Bottom line: why should people vote for you?" and marked down my choices based on their answers. I did, as expected, vote more Republican than Democrat, but there were a few in there. If only every politician did what they said they would do.....but we'd never know if we didn't vote! I think that everyone can agree that the way that the system has been operating in recent years hasn't been working. We'll see if change really comes.
Anyway. On a lighter note (well, not so light to me....sad face)......I bought my first night cream a couple weeks ago. Anti wrinkle night cream. It wasn't expensive, just Garnier brand, but I'm seriously starting to notice some changes in my skin and face (or maybe it's more me being paranoid, but still). I also bought some eye stuff......by the end of everyday, I look like I've been punched in both eyes. Dark circles, puffy.......sick.
A little vanity never killed anybody. Too bad at this time of year, I really like to tan.........but then I wonder why I'm getting little wrinkles. Nikki, be smart. (Oh, but how I love tanning).......
Monday, November 1, 2010
Happy November!
60 days til 2011. Unreal!
I have to say, the next 60 days are my favorite months of the year. Weather starts getting chillier, perfect for hoodies, jeans & boots (I could do without the snow though).....football season is well underway (well, actually, I'm good on this season for now, but I still like football more than any other sport)......my birthday! (eventually I'll quit being excited about it.....hahahaha), Thanksgiving, the hustle & bustle of Christmas - it's such a family time, and a loving time, and I really do love every minute of it.
Cowboys are now 1-6. I've never turned off a game before, but Chris & I left the house 2 minutes into the 4th quarter yesterday b/c if we didn't, I was going to break something. I wish I had more money than Jerry Jones, b/c then I'd just fire them all. Except about 4 players (Dez Bryant, Tashard Choice, Keith Brooking and Demarcus Ware) and Joe DeCamillis (ST coach). They're pitiful.
Work is......well, work. Not much I can say over the internet. It's only Monday and I'm already looking forward to the weekend. Sad....
Chris & I had a relaxing weekend (except for a hiccup Saturday night.......amazing that after almost 8 years together we still don't always fight fair. It's a process......a learning experience, a journey.....) and sometimes I really just have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
My biggest lesson learned this weekend? I can't expect others to move on if I can't.
I have to say, the next 60 days are my favorite months of the year. Weather starts getting chillier, perfect for hoodies, jeans & boots (I could do without the snow though).....football season is well underway (well, actually, I'm good on this season for now, but I still like football more than any other sport)......my birthday! (eventually I'll quit being excited about it.....hahahaha), Thanksgiving, the hustle & bustle of Christmas - it's such a family time, and a loving time, and I really do love every minute of it.
Cowboys are now 1-6. I've never turned off a game before, but Chris & I left the house 2 minutes into the 4th quarter yesterday b/c if we didn't, I was going to break something. I wish I had more money than Jerry Jones, b/c then I'd just fire them all. Except about 4 players (Dez Bryant, Tashard Choice, Keith Brooking and Demarcus Ware) and Joe DeCamillis (ST coach). They're pitiful.
Work is......well, work. Not much I can say over the internet. It's only Monday and I'm already looking forward to the weekend. Sad....
Chris & I had a relaxing weekend (except for a hiccup Saturday night.......amazing that after almost 8 years together we still don't always fight fair. It's a process......a learning experience, a journey.....) and sometimes I really just have to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
My biggest lesson learned this weekend? I can't expect others to move on if I can't.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I Need a New Hobby
It's 12:22 am.
I have to be at work in 6 hours and 38 minutes.
I'm so disappointed in this Cowboys team. So talented and we had this game in hand.....look like we have completely given up and then make a game of it with 39 seconds to go.........and lose it.
Romo is out for ???? with a broken clavicle.
And the media vultures will feast.
Only once has a team gone 1-5 and made the playoffs..................in 1970....that was 40 years ago.
Can they still turn it around?
Maybe. And I'll still watch with hope every week.
But Jerry. A new coach. A new OC. Please?
Staying up to see press conferences to see how bad the clavicle is on Romo.
Our upcoming schedule:
10/31 JACKSONVILLE
11/7 @ Green Bay (Sunday Night Football - awesome)
11/14 @ NYG
11/21 DETROIT
11/25 NEW ORLEANS (Thanksgiving Day)
12/5 @ Indy
12/12 PHILADELPHIA
12/19 WASHINGTON
12/26 @ Arizona
1/3 @ Philadelphia
Realistically speaking.......with potentially having no Romo for the rest of the season? Winning 4 of those.........making this season 5-11.
5-11 was a lot easier to handle in the early 2000's when we had 0 talent. We have the talent now. Just no heart. :(
Signing off,
A Bewildered Cowboys fan
^ a reporter said that word and I can't think of a better one at the moment.
I have to be at work in 6 hours and 38 minutes.
I'm so disappointed in this Cowboys team. So talented and we had this game in hand.....look like we have completely given up and then make a game of it with 39 seconds to go.........and lose it.
Romo is out for ???? with a broken clavicle.
And the media vultures will feast.
Only once has a team gone 1-5 and made the playoffs..................in 1970....that was 40 years ago.
Can they still turn it around?
Maybe. And I'll still watch with hope every week.
But Jerry. A new coach. A new OC. Please?
Staying up to see press conferences to see how bad the clavicle is on Romo.
Our upcoming schedule:
10/31 JACKSONVILLE
11/7 @ Green Bay (Sunday Night Football - awesome)
11/14 @ NYG
11/21 DETROIT
11/25 NEW ORLEANS (Thanksgiving Day)
12/5 @ Indy
12/12 PHILADELPHIA
12/19 WASHINGTON
12/26 @ Arizona
1/3 @ Philadelphia
Realistically speaking.......with potentially having no Romo for the rest of the season? Winning 4 of those.........making this season 5-11.
5-11 was a lot easier to handle in the early 2000's when we had 0 talent. We have the talent now. Just no heart. :(
Signing off,
A Bewildered Cowboys fan
^ a reporter said that word and I can't think of a better one at the moment.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Parody in the NFL
I love football. I really, really do. My Cowboys don't play until tonight, but that didn't mean I had nothing to watch yesterday.
Loved watching Philly get beat by Tennessee.
Didn't really like seeing Washington win, but loved watching Jay Cutler get made to look like the doucebaggy-overrated QB he is.
Buffalo almost beat Baltimore - are you kidding?
Cleveland beat New Orleans 30-17. If I didn't have N.O. ST/ D in my fantasy (this week ONLY b/c the Jets are on a bye) that earned a whopping -3 points, I would've been laughing.
Atlanta beat Cincy - seriously, Cincy had a fluke season last year.
Refs pull one out for Pittsburgh (sick).
Oakland puts 59 on Denver on the ROAD?
I love it. Now I'm anxiously awaiting what basically boils down to a playoff game for Dallas tonight....I'm almost afraid to watch. But I will. Holding my breath the whole time....let's just hope they don't almost come back to win and LOSE in the final minute, because that'll just keep me up pissed off. Lame, I know.
This weekend was so nice and relaxing. We walked around the mall on Saturday, getting ideas for Christmas (and me giving Chris ideas for my bday :)) and just wandering. Went grocery shopping, went home and I took a nap (I LOVE naps), woke up and went to dinner (gotta love buy one entree get one free! We ate the Rusty Bucket - a chain in Cbus with really good food and sports). Yesterday we laid around some more and I got a run in. That was about it! It was nice :)
8 hours 45 minutes to go til kickoff. Definitely thinking it's naptime after work!!
Loved watching Philly get beat by Tennessee.
Didn't really like seeing Washington win, but loved watching Jay Cutler get made to look like the doucebaggy-overrated QB he is.
Buffalo almost beat Baltimore - are you kidding?
Cleveland beat New Orleans 30-17. If I didn't have N.O. ST/ D in my fantasy (this week ONLY b/c the Jets are on a bye) that earned a whopping -3 points, I would've been laughing.
Atlanta beat Cincy - seriously, Cincy had a fluke season last year.
Refs pull one out for Pittsburgh (sick).
Oakland puts 59 on Denver on the ROAD?
I love it. Now I'm anxiously awaiting what basically boils down to a playoff game for Dallas tonight....I'm almost afraid to watch. But I will. Holding my breath the whole time....let's just hope they don't almost come back to win and LOSE in the final minute, because that'll just keep me up pissed off. Lame, I know.
This weekend was so nice and relaxing. We walked around the mall on Saturday, getting ideas for Christmas (and me giving Chris ideas for my bday :)) and just wandering. Went grocery shopping, went home and I took a nap (I LOVE naps), woke up and went to dinner (gotta love buy one entree get one free! We ate the Rusty Bucket - a chain in Cbus with really good food and sports). Yesterday we laid around some more and I got a run in. That was about it! It was nice :)
8 hours 45 minutes to go til kickoff. Definitely thinking it's naptime after work!!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Gotta Love Marilyn
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe
How many changes have I gone through in the last 2 years? How many things have I had to learn the hard way to get to today? It hasn't always been the easiest road since August 30, 2008, but in the 2 years and 2 months since then - boy, have I learned a lot.
Who's there for me, who's not. Who wants to judge and who sticks by me. Where I can go, where I can't. Why my faith is so important, who I can really trust, and why I know that if you truly love each other, you can make it through anything.
Happy Friday!
How many changes have I gone through in the last 2 years? How many things have I had to learn the hard way to get to today? It hasn't always been the easiest road since August 30, 2008, but in the 2 years and 2 months since then - boy, have I learned a lot.
Who's there for me, who's not. Who wants to judge and who sticks by me. Where I can go, where I can't. Why my faith is so important, who I can really trust, and why I know that if you truly love each other, you can make it through anything.
Happy Friday!
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