Wednesday Brain Dump

I haven't done a brain dump in awhile.  In fact, I think I gave it up after like 2.1 times of writing them....I suck.  Oh well.......here goes.

1.  Last couple of weeks have been whiny, crabby, cranky, and just generally pissed off at the world.  At home, at work, on here....it hasn't been pretty.  I apologize.  The mix of the busiest spring in my history of springs at Brickman - my 4th one so far (partly due to all of my new responsibilities and partly due to the fact that we started mowing in MARCH), all the traveling I/ we've been doing (even the weekend we "got away" for a night was still one less day to get anything done around the house), and this whole baby business has just about put me in the damn loony bin.  This week has been better, though.  Catching up at work (kind of....and keep that quiet.  Don't need anyone to know that I've actually had a free minute here and there to file AP and billing from......February??) and at home has made me more relaxed.  Kind of.

2.  Officially started my first round of Clomid on Saturday.  I've gotten very saavy at all this fertility-talk which I'm not really that happy about (I'd much rather my body just do what it's supposed to without any real mental input from me, but that's not how this is going to work, apparently)....but my progesterone levels came back last month lower than they'd like, so that's what this med will do (force my body to actually ovulate, unlike what it hasn't been doing for 9 months now).  Besides the side effects I've already dealt with (some nausea and oh-my-freaking-gosh-I-need-to-peel-off-my-skin-or-I-will-burn-alive hot flashes), it also raises your chances of twins by 10% or so.  Chris was thrilled with that news, especially since twins run in my family anyway.  We'll see.......the thought that this month could really be it (trying not to get my hopes up) is terrifying and exciting all at once.  Stay tuned.....

3.  Well, I say stay tuned, but we will not be telling ANYONE (outside of family and pertinent other people) if/ when that day comes until we are 11571% sure we have a real, live, healthy baby in there.  Like....the 8 week appointment or even after that.  Some sad news we got last week just confirmed my thought that telling people too early may not be a jinx (God's plan and all that), but it definitely just makes it that much harder and sadder to tell everyone if you lose the baby.  Without going into too much detail, it turns out Chris and I WON'T be an aunt/ uncle again....not in November, anyway.  It sucks and it's sad and I teared up on the phone with my SIL at work last Wednesday when I talked to her, and I just didn't know what to say (I know....there is nothing you CAN say).  Like other people I know, she went in for her first "real" baby appointment....no heartbeat.....yup.  So, it sucks that we live so far away and I feel awful for even having kind-of-sad/ jealous feelings when she told us all that she was pregnant.....but....sorry, friends.  Any bun of mine will be nice and snuggled in for the long haul by the time anyone knows.  So......pray for us, and pray for my SIL, ok?  All 3 of you who read this....

4.  We have 2 more days of this week to get through, then Chris & I are taking next Friday off, and then the following Monday is Memorial Day, which means a 4-day weekend and I CANNOT WAIT.  We'll be going home to TH as always - Mom & Dad always have a big cookout for Anthony's bday/ the holiday and we'll be spending lots of time with family and traveling between houses, but I'm looking forward to some time away from work and just (hopefully) relaxing and taking our minds off everything.  Who else can't believe it is MAY FREAKING 16TH ALREADY?!?

I think that's about all I've got for now.  Going to cook dinner and eat on the patio.......l-o-ving this weather!