Unanswered Prayers

I like numbers. A lot. I'm good with them. And people think I have a weird "thing" with numbers...which is probably true. At my job, every job site has a 3-digit number that is used to track all time & materials that go to that job throughout the year. We have 200 or so sites...I can rattle off the numbers at the drop of a hat for about 195 of them. I still remember the phone numbers of my best friends from 5th grade. And....I remember dates.

Today is December 29.

For 9 years now, this day hasn't held much meaning. But in 2000 and 2001, it had a a LOT of meaning. My junior year of high school, I worked at JCPenney and this guy started working there. His name was Shaun. Eventually, our boss had to quit putting us on the same shift b/c we always had a little too much fun laughing and talking. That didn't stop us from starting to talk outside of work as much as possible, and eventually, start dating. He was a freshman at ISU, so Mom & Dad were a little leery at first, but he won them over, and I was smitten.

And December 29, 2000 - he asked me to be his girlfriend (I just have to laugh at that. How cheesy that sounds now!)

That next year - the end of my junior and beginning of my senior year - was a lot of fun. He was my date to senior prom. He was in on my surprise 18th birthday. We went to King's Island together, and he came on our family vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC that summer. I called him from every spot possible when I was in Europe for 2 weeks.

Unfortunately, our lives were just too different. He couldn't go back to ISU for the spring semester b/c his mom & dad were divorced (I never met his mom), and his mom wasn't holding up her end of the deal to help him through school. He moved in with friends in Terre Haute, and for awhile, things were okay. But he was a full -fledged grownup, with bills to pay and rent due every month. There wasn't a lot of time leftover for me, and at 17/18, I probably wasn't the least bit understanding why he couldn't spend more time with me. Right after our first "anniversary," he moved to Indianapolis to live with his best friend Joe (and Joe's g/f, and Joe's mom). Things quickly went downhill from there. We "officially" broke up on February 20, 2002 - in my high school's parking lot (he drove from Indy and didn't want to have to see my family, and I let him get away with it). The last time I ever spoke to him was the day I got my acceptance letter from Ball State. At that time, he told me not to f it up like he did. And that he was already dating someone else.

I was heartbroken. Fortunately, not having to see him made it easier, and with the end of my high school career coming to a quick end, there was a lot to keep me distracted. Prom, picnics, banquets and parties with my friends helped it to not be so "traumatic." But for awhile, I was sad. Shaun had given me a "promise ring," and I was as sure as the sky is blue that we'd end up together. But it obviously didn't end up that way. And there are random times and days, like today, that he'll cross my mind. I haven't spoken to him in almost 9 years, and sometimes I just wonder about him. I don't pine for him, I don't wonder what might have been. I just am....wistful? No....wrong word. Just....wondering. Wondering how his life turned out. And....to quote an old cheesy Garth Brooks song..........thanking God for unanswered prayers.